Feelings
I have been hesitant to write about how I truly feel about the events that have occurred in the last month. I have received some pushback from people who do not seem to think that I have a right to my feelings. I have a right to those feelings. I have the right to feel hate! I have restrained myself from lashing out. They do not know the stuff that has gone on. They do not know the stunts that were pulled by people and the childishness that people show when they loose control of a person or a situation. The lack of amicability in resolving this situation is not my fault; it is the fault of the person who acted like a child! Who harassed me at work and went off their rocker!
I lost so much. I lots friends (or at least people that I thought were friends). I also lost a business that I was becoming successful at. And most of all I lost 2 years of my life.
Within a week I managed to find a new job, a place to live across the country and organize an exit from a state that I had promised myself that I would never live in. Unlike the last victim of his lying ways I didn't have family only an hour away, my family was at least 4 hours away. I arranged things as fast as I could and moved my all of my stuff out of the house all by myself.
I lost opportunities as well. I dedicated my self to someone. You have to work at a relationship and you have to try and understand the person. This is one thing that is wrong with this time period; no one wants to work at anything. Commitment doesn't mean anything! I was raised by people from a different generation, I was raised people who worked hard at their marriage and worked on it for over 50 years. I am not under any illusion that it was all perfect; I know that it was not, but they worked at it.
I can see the lies that were told to me, how I was snowed. How I believed someone that I should have been suspect of and how I didn't listen to those who tried to warn me! A leopard does not change their spots! Once a cheating bastard always a cheating bastard!
posted by Marquise at
11:38 PM
2 comment(s):
I am glad you are able to talk about this, but be careful to not bring to light issues that do not belong in the public eye. A dead dog should stay dead, because once brought back into the life it just starts to stink.
Every day is a new day, and you are learning about that all over again! Kudos to you.
By
Professor Bacher, at
July 15, 2006 1:31 AM
You have the right to feel like you do. I am in the same place as you and feel the same way. I am exercising my right to feel this way and if it takes me 10 years to get over it then so be it!
Take as long as you need and don't let anyone tell you to snap out of it!
Well done on moving forward as you have.
By
kissmekate, at
July 15, 2006 9:59 PM
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