The Holiday Spirit
Buffett song of the day:
Christmas IslandToday started off well and then went into the dust quickly. I got into my car and Jimmy Buffett, was on the radio. It was a song from his Xmas CD. I thought to myself, hevean has come and this is it. I am so happy when I listen to Buffett. Here is a little piece of trivia, did you know that Christmas day is Jimmy Buffett's birthday? This happiness only lasted until I go to work, where deals started to fall apart. Thank heveans that I have tomorrow off!!! So HAPPY to have a day off!!
Letters to Santa
If santa really exists, I wonder if he ever gets angry. If he did here are some examples of letters and how he may respond. (thanks to wendy for sharing this e-mail with me).
deer santa: I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
SantaDear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love,
Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
SantaDear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see wh at you can do. Love,
TeddyDear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?
Santa Dear Santa,I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
FrancisDear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
SusanDear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.
SantaDear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.
Santa P.S. Tell your mom she got the part.Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love,
JessicaDear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa Dear Santa,I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
TimmyTimmy,That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.SantaDearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
Wow! Stopped at UDF and I did not realize that it was the season for camel toes.
Homesick
Today with the weather out side being frightful and no one coming in the doors, I sat down and looked for photos of home. I found this wonderful site that had many photos of some of the historic building in Marshall, MI. I realize how quaint my hometown is. It looks nice from a far, but I still think that it would be too small for me to live there now.
